Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Possible reasons why...

Those of you that have read through right from the very beginning of this blog of sorts may have already put two and two together and realised that Milly being sexually 'interfered' with by the lesbian child I mentioned earlier may well have had a huge part to play in what we now believe to be a 'full on' mental breakdown.
That's certainly what Margo Sharp believes.
And she's worked with the Best of The Best in this field.
It's called transference.

Of course, life's rarely that simple for a High Functioning Autistic girl and there are undoubtedly a number of other factors at play, some of which I'm going to attempt to explain to you.

Firstly, Margo has told us that girl's like Milly often become hypercritical of their mother's.
It would certainly explain why Milly now seemed to be so intolerant of me.

I'll give you just one, teeny tiny insight as to what she was like - and yes, this is apparently typical behaviour for girl's like my daughter...

Just one spot on her face was the end of the world for Milly, who was convinced that every other single girl at school didn't have this problem at all.
Her 'skin care' regime to help involved her washing her face every morning and having a choice of 'On The Spot' options to apply just before going to her room before bed.
Although Milly may well have been able to at least have a go at putting the spot treatments on her face herself, she refused each and every single day...  but she also hated the way I put them on (once she reached her 'impossible stage').
I really couldn't win and yes, I would sometimes angrily tell her she should just do it herself.
...  Let's just say that if looks could kill I would be dead, but Milly never said a word.
It was always internalised with her...

Margo also told us that Milly never should have gone to the secondary school she was at.
Because the 'in need' pupils that she had daily contact with were not a good influence on her.

But how were we to know that Milly would be befriended by an older teen that was 'known' to Social Services - a teen whose older brother was in trouble with the police, whose older sister got in a bar fight, whose dad slept with his wife's sister and then married her.
This child's home life was a mess, quite frankly...  and Milly took on the role of 'being needed'.
This older girl could ignore Milly for weeks sometimes unless yet another family drama had unfolded - then she'd be on the phone texting away - sometimes for hours...

Did Milly begin to believe that creating her own family drama would somehow make her 'fit in' more with this girl?  We don't know for sure, but it is likely very probable given Milly's Autistic nature and her struggles for peer acceptance.
After all, it was this girl that Milly chose to disclose her lies to...

Or perhaps it was the pressure of having her school workload effectively doubled at the beginning of the previous term...  or that she felt she had to punish me for the one and only time I've ever shouted at one of her teachers.

Or maybe she really does just hate me...


Two highly qualified people with many years experience in the field of Autism and how it can detrimentally effect girls during their teenage years have both told us that there's nothing and nobody that can help us...  or our daughter now that she's in the hands of Social Services.

Apparently Milly now enjoys going out, she does her exercises to help relieve some of her Hypermobility pain (the most I could ever get her to do was two of each exercise a day, and that was only because I did them with her), she doesn't complain of being ill any more, she now goes to school every day and goes by herself on the bus...  and she now eats and sleeps better than ever before.
And probably a multitude of other things, too.
In short, she's a completely different person that I don't recognise.

But what Social Services don't recognise it's that Milly has effectively just swapped one set of problems for another.

They don't see that effectively having had a personality transplant, concocting lies against your mum and then blaming your dad for not believing them, changing your surname to your Foster Carer's and your birthday to the day you went into Care as a list of 'symptoms'.
They treat every fabrication she comes up with as fact and probably think they are doing a great job.

In short, they have no idea just how much damaged they have caused...


When I was first made aware of the allegations Milly made against me I remember saying many, many times that had she said these things about anybody else (other than her dad), I would have believed her.
She wasn't the sort of child to lie.

Now I don't feel I know anything any more.
Was she lying to us, and if so when did it start..?
Or is this all just the result of some sort of Mental Health breakdown?
Or is it a mixture of the two?

I'll never know because as I've said before, even though we've told Social Services that Milly obviously needs help, they won't do a thing about it...  so there's nobody to tell Milly that she's living and believing a lie.

Unless she already knows that, of course.  

Either way,  I know I'll never see her again.
Black and white, concrete rigid thinking, remember?
And with no one to tell her and no one to help her - that's just how it will stay.

What Milly needs is to be psychologically assessed by an expert in dealing with Autism/Mental Health issues in girls.
Even the Police Woman who took Milly's statement told me that she had told Social Services that she strongly suggested they get Milly some Psychological help.
But guess what?
That got ignored, too.


We have repeatedly asked, and asked, and asked again that Social Services meet with Margo - even if only for them to get advice on how to help Milly.
They've refused each and every single time...

So unless Milly asks for help, it will never happen.

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